what are some of the things i have learned since my arrival in the states?
1. Americans have food but do not know what to do with it. If it has salt, it is spicy.
2. they eat everything with cheese: picture chicken and cheese; it is nasty looking, nasty smelling, nasty tasting and Americans love it.
3. Americans do not know where Africa is or that it is not a country
4. They are very "PATRIOTIC". That is why i write this blog under a different name so I do not get deported
5. Race is always an issue.
6. As a people they must have made God angry because he rewarded them with about four months of snow
7. You cannot get anything without credit and you cannot get credit without anything
8. They have loans for everything that you cannot get for anything
9. You can sue the clock manufacturing company if you slept through the alarm
10. you can sue the brewery for your DUI
11. They loose weight on their on their diets because the food is even more tasteless than before...thus, they do not eat.
12. Anything with zero calories tastes like feet
13. Raising a child in this country is left to the internet, Nickolodeon and Disney
14. Don't offer to hold someone's child for them. You will be arrested for pedophillia. And if you are an African man, don't even dare to buy treats for a crying child (like you would at home to get them to stop crying): it interprets that YOU are the CAUSE for the "tears" and that you are trying to lure the child away for more "crying"
15. Only African Americans spank their children, beyond the view of security cameras
16. there is therapy for everything and support groups of every kind. Even blogging
17. I am in love with whoever created HBO
18. Desperate Housewives is a reality show. i have seen the people they play
19. Sex is not an issue. It is the only issue
20. Fourteen year olds know much more about sex than I do but nothing about its repercussions which I seem to have a lexicon of information of.
21. Race determines neighbourhood and in turn what amenities are available to you. Par example: DC buses stink, VA buses don't. DC buses stop for you where you ask, VA buses.....would you even dare to ask?
22. There is nothing on the news
23. There is really nothing on the local news
24. The "hungry" look is considered sexy.
25. White women do not have butts. they buy it from the plastic surgeon
26. Black people are usually late...like me. I am supposed to be researching something for my boss and I am here blogging.
Have to go...the man is coming: to hold me down (27. That's a common thought among lazy black people)